Self-flagellation is one of the most prominent obstacles that prevent you from progressing and growing, and it is classified as a negative psychological behavior. People often confuse the concept of self-flagellation with monitoring and remorse, although the two concepts are completely different. So what is self-flagellation? What is the difference between it and remorse? What are the steps necessary to get rid of self-flagellation? We will answer these questions in our article today, Dalili Medical.

**What is self-flagellation?**

 

Self-flagellation, or self-deprecation, is considered a psychological disorder, where the individual focuses on the details of his mistakes and exaggerates them, which makes him talk about them constantly. This behavior leads to deliberate self-harm, and the harm may be psychological by convincing the person that his mistake is unforgivable. Self-flagellation is classified as a type of emotional abuse, and it does not only occur in passing situations, but is repeated to become a normal behavior in most situations in which the person feels a failure. Over time, it goes beyond guilt to shame and disgrace, which prompts the person to reduce his self-worth. The person who practices self-flagellation is characterized by being constantly dissatisfied with life.

**How ​​do I stop blaming myself?**

 

There are simple behavioral exercises that you can apply. Among these exercises: When a thought comes to your mind in which you blame yourself, try to come up with a completely opposite idea. I do not mean to justify yourself absolutely, but think about the positive things that contradict this unjustified and illogical blame, and try to reinforce the new idea. Repeat this exercise several times a day and others.

**Critical self-flagellation:** Critical self-flagellation is considered one of the complex phenomena that an individual practices towards himself, as he continues to evaluate himself harshly, whether in big or even simple matters. This constant criticism can lead to psychological exhaustion and cause many psychological problems.

**Professional self-flagellation:** In this context, the individual feels unable to accomplish the tasks assigned to him in his professional field, and believes that he is incompetent. He practices self-flagellation for any achievement he achieves, considering it incomplete or not meeting the required standards, which may lead to a feeling of job burnout and loss of passion.

**Social self-flagellation:** Social self-flagellation appears in personal relationships, where the individual takes responsibility for any failure in these relationships, which makes him constantly blame himself. This behavior may lead to a feeling of isolation and make the person more introverted, which negatively affects his interaction and ability to build positive social relationships with his family members and friends.

**Effects of self-flagellation**

 

Self-flagellation and excessive criticism affect many aspects of the individual's life, the most prominent of which are:

- Procrastination or postponement.

- Stopping the pursuit of goals and ambitions.

- Low self-esteem.

- Feeling worthless.

- Feelings of guilt.

- Self-harm.

- Striving for perfection or idealism.

- Lack of self-motivation.

- Social phobia or social anxiety.

- Body image issues.

- Stress in personal relationships and social withdrawal.

- Eating disorders.

- Inability to accept failure or making mistakes.

- Self-doubt and loss of security or confidence in the ability to develop and grow personally.

**The difference between self-flagellation and self-accountability**

 

Self-flagellation is a negative feeling that appears in times of defeat and frustration, where an atmosphere of failure prevails. In this case, the person constantly blames himself and rebukes himself for mistakes in an unhealthy way, which prevents him from forgiving himself or reaching an internal reconciliation. His achievements decline in his eyes, and failure becomes the norm, which leads to his isolation and inability to see things clearly. He often justifies this feeling of helplessness with arguments such as adapting to circumstances or being satisfied with reality.

On the contrary, self-accountability represents a positive and mature feeling, where the person evaluates his strengths and weaknesses objectively and honestly. He realizes his weaknesses and strengths without hurting himself or enjoying his suffering. He has the ability to understand himself and his surroundings, which makes him able to face challenges and adventures with courage. He rejects isolation and suffering, and relies on God, focusing on hard work and sound planning, benefiting from past mistakes and their circumstances.

**How ​​does a person practice self-flagellation**

 

People with self-flagellation disorder suffer from a constant belief that they deserve to suffer, and convince themselves that they do not deserve success, love, or happiness. The behaviors of these individuals are often unhealthy, which leads to their transformation into behavioral habits over time. The question is: How does a person practice self-flagellation? This can be summarized in the following points:

- Burning the skin.

- Hair pulling.

- Breaking bones.

- Hitting different parts of the body.

- Hurting the head area.

- Reopening old wounds on the body.

- Belittling oneself in front of others.

**Causes of self-flagellation**

 

After learning about the concept of self-flagellation, it is important to explore the reasons that lead to this phenomenon, including:

. **Escape from failure**: Individuals resort to self-flagellation and blaming themselves when facing failure in any field, instead of analyzing the reasons for failure and working to improve them.

. **Free time**: Free time gives a person the opportunity to reflect on their experiences extensively, which may increase feelings of self-flagellation.

. **Loss of hope**: When a person loses hope in life, he begins to flog himself and blame himself excessively.

. **Negative thinking**: Self-flagellation is generated as a result of the repetition of negative thoughts that control the person's mind.

. **Laziness**: Sitting for long periods without engaging in any physical activity leads to the accumulation of negative thoughts, which contributes to self-flagellation.

. **Parenting style**: Many of a person's behaviors are formed during childhood, as he learns exaggerated self-criticism as a result of being exposed to criticism from those around him, which continues with him until the stage of maturity.

. **Motivation**: One of the false beliefs is that being harsh on oneself or using a negative motivational method can be a motivation for progress, while in reality it may lead toDear Self-flagellation.

**Showing Humility** Some people believe that criticizing themselves excessively in front of others reflects their humility and shows them far from arrogance.

**Feeling in Control** A person may resort to criticizing themselves excessively in front of others because they believe that this gives them a sense of control. They realize that they cannot control how others see them or their opinions about them, so self-flagellation gives them a sense of control.

**Avoid Narcissism** Many consider self-compassion to be a type of emotional narcissism and self-indulgence. To avoid appearing like a narcissist, some people begin to criticize themselves excessively. However, this is a misconception, as self-compassion means respecting and appreciating oneself, not focusing on oneself or narcissism.

### Signs and Symptoms of Self-flagellation

 

There are some signs that indicate that a person tends to criticize themselves excessively:

#### Self-blame The individual feels responsible for negative or bad things happening, and takes full blame without taking into account external factors. For example, he might blame himself for organizing an event and then get caught in the rain.

#### Frustration and Negativity Frustration and self-criticism are the most prominent signs of self-flagellation, as the person focuses on criticizing himself for mistakes rather than evaluating the mistakes themselves. He also tends to think negatively and talk negatively about himself rather than focusing on the behavior that led to the problem.

#### Risk avoidance Because of the belief that any step he may take will end in failure, the person avoids taking any action or taking risks, which leads to doing nothing.

#### Not expressing opinions The person often avoids sharing his opinions or ideas for fear of saying something he considers stupid or boring, or of revealing his ignorance on a particular topic.

**Comparisons with others** When a person’s self-esteem is based on how others see him or what he believes are their impressions of him, he makes unfair and unhelpful comparisons with other people.

**Dissatisfaction with achievements**No matter what a person achieves or accomplishes in his life, he often feels dissatisfied with those achievements, and believes that he has not achieved anything right.

**Ways to stop self-flagellation**

 

To overcome self-flagellation and exaggerated criticism, the following steps can be followed:

**Physical self-care**Physical self-care contributes to maintaining health, managing stress, and restoring self-confidence. Its practices include the following:

- Doing different types of exercises such as weightlifting, aerobic exercises, walking, and yoga.

- Maintaining personal hygiene by bathing.

- Visiting the doctor regularly.

- Getting massages.

- Taking care of nails and hands.

**Emotional self-care**Emotional self-care helps individuals better understand their thoughts and enhance their positive outlook towards themselves and others, which contributes to reducing feelings of self-blame. Emotional self-care includes a set of practices, including:

- Practicing mindfulness.

- Writing in a journal or diary.

- Doing breathing exercises.

- Setting healthy boundaries with others.

- Boosting self-love.

When a person loves himself, he becomes more able to interact harmoniously with his feelings and gain confidence in his inner value. This can be achieved by:

- Processing personal feelings and emotions.

- Forgiving yourself.

- Dealing with self-kindness.

- Practicing gratitude.

***Tips to get rid of self-flagellation**

 

Here are some effective tips that help reduce self-flagellation and excessive self-criticism:

1. Stop believing that self-flagellation will help you achieve success.

2. Write a list of the qualities and skills you prefer in yourself, and think about how to exploit them positively.

3. Talk to a psychotherapist or psychiatrist about any traumas you may have experienced.

4. Get rid of perfectionism and consider mistakes as part of the human experience.

5. Apply the advice you give to friends or others to yourself.

6. Strive to achieve a balance between self-improvement and compassion for yourself.

7. Be aware of your thoughts, feelings, and reactions daily.

8. Keep a journal to track your progress and improvement.

9. Stop comparing yourself to others.

10. Identify your personal strengths.

11. Praise yourself regularly and be committed to positive motivation.

12. Focus on your personal or professional achievements, and recognize the goals you have achieved in your life.

13. Step out of your comfort zone, and try adventures or risks.

14. Repeat positive affirmations daily to overcome self-doubt.